Yesterday and today especially have been emotionally draining days because of my own memories and grief, yet I have to share two more gifts that God has given me this Christmas.
Gift number one:
When I wake up on Tuesdays and Thursdays... the first thought that always comes to my sleepy mind is "Yes. It's Augustine day."
I smile and find the strength to pull away from my bed because of this place. I love working at ACA. It fills my heart with joy. It is a gift God has given to me that continually reminds me of His faithfulness. As I have faced difficulty the last few months, this school has turned into a safe place for my weary heart. In the midst of my pessimism these students skip along the halls and sing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs. I can't help but smile here.
We have many wonderful decorations that hang on the walls...from creations the students have made to posters of musicals performed in years past (I am still in one of those pictures!).
One of my favorites, however, is pictured here:
This lovely little poster hangs on the wall in one of the classrooms I work in. Most would probably say it's cheesy and would hardly acknowledge its existence. But for me? I look at it every Tuesday and Thursday and thank God that He has shown me through working here that my dreams are not pointless. My dreams are not something to be ashamed of... they are real. They are part of who I am; whom He has made me to be. I have the opportunity to teach kids how to sing and perform for His glory which is something I have always longed to do. While my dreams may not always come true the way I think they will, there is nothing wrong with them. They are, in fact, beautiful.
Gift number two:
This the view I have of the stage every night just before I first walk out in "A Christmas Carol":
Warm and inviting. It waits for me and the rest of the cast to sing about the beauty of Christmas. As I look out at the sea of people every night, words cannot express my gratitude. What a healing and incredible experience. Even as my heart has been aching of memories that occurred a year ago today... I also find joy in the here and now. Any time I have had an opportunity to perform, a small part of my dreams always comes true. I have made friends, I am singing more than I ever thought I would now...
I am free.
The words of the Cratchit family ring true:
"It's the plain, simple things in life on which we thrive, but most of all we're thankful we're alive."
This Christmas, what a gift it is to have beautiful dreams and to be alive!
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