A New Dream

There is something to be said about a lost dream.

That dream which was once alive and kicking. A dream that breathed life into your weary soul. One which gave you passion and zeal for taking in every single breath and every single foot step.

A dream which offered hope.

Perhaps it was not even the dream in and of itself which gave you all of these things.
It was the hope from that dream.

That’s when that fateful day came - you know the day I am talking about - the day that your dreams crashed to the floor in a billion pieces. A day of calamity. A day of complete darkness. A day of absolute, heart wrenching, raw, freshly wounded complete despair.

Maybe you saw it coming... maybe you didn’t. Either way it doesn’t matter. It happened, and the dream that was once very much alive is now dead. There’s nothing you can do to change that.

So now you might be living your life aimlessly. Wandering around... wondering what is the point of it all. I have lived my life that way before. If I am being transparent, I still do live that way sometimes.

It is by the grace of a merciful and incredible loving God that I am only just now discovering that I can dream again.

That old dream will never revive... but a new dream can be born.
A new purpose. A new life.
A new hope.

There’s a reason why Christ calls us to have childlike faith:
“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 18:3

I don’t think Christ is only speaking in terms of salvation here. For me, I think maybe he also means that we need to have childlike faith to truly experience the kingdom of heaven HERE too.

What do children do? They wonder... they play... they imagine... they ask lots of questions to discover the truth... they love without abandon...

They dream.

You don’t have to have to dream today or even tomorrow if you don’t have the strength. Just know that you can. You can dream again. You were created to dream again.

Childlike faith is so simple and yet it’s the hardest thing in the world.
...Yet I want to experience the kingdom of heaven - not just after I die - but while I am still living here.

I will dream a new dream. I was born to dream again.

To Those Who Are Lonely

To those who are lonely: 

You are not crazy. 

You are not desperate. 

You are not shameful. 

You are not weak. 

You are not worthless. 

You are not weird. 

You are not emotional. 

You are not alone in feeling alone. 

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone...” 

Genesis 2:18 

When God created His great beginning, he made a perfect world in which we could live. He then created the very first human being ever to walk His beautiful creation. Adam already walked with God, was close with God, had a perfect relationship with Him... 

...and still God said it was not good. Man was still alone, even with God. 

Coming from a place where I have experienced loss (and talking with others who have grieved a loss, too), it is exhausting for me to hear others try to “fix” a problem by saying “God is enough.” 

Well, yes. He is enough. Of course He’s enough. That was never a question. That isn’t the problem here. 

The reality is that humans crave and value community, whether they realize it or not. 

Humans were made for community.

Sometimes that means you need people in your life just to sit with you and say “I don’t understand what you’re going through, but that really must suck. Here’s some ice cream and a shoulder to cry on.” 

And this might surprise you. For that moment, that IS enough. 

We get so caught up in trying to solve each others’ problems. We try to simplify things and say “well, all things work together for His good.”

When honestly...sometimes this answer just doesn’t help anything. Sometimes we just need to say, “This world hurts and thankfully it is not our home, but until then we are together.” 

So to those who feel alone, this is not coming from a place of insecurity. This is normal. This is coming from a very valuable place in your heart that God has created. 

And if you need a shoulder to cry on, let’s get coffee sometime. 

Believe me... I get it!

"You Don't Have to Work for Love"

But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.
Romans 11:6

“Slow down child, you don’t have to work for love anymore.” 

I have a real problem with doing this whole life thing sometimes. Maybe you can relate. I’m just going to be completely transparent here: I am often a complete control freak about my life. The second that I realize, “Oh! Duh! Silly me, God. I have finally realized that didn’t work and I will live my life better.”, this lasts for about 5 seconds and then it’s back to me trying to do everything on my own again. 

This can turn into a really prideful thing. “I have finally realized” or “I will live my life better.” The thing I have discovered about myself is that even in my “revelations” I tend to still focus on ME. 

You know what’s even worse? When I begin to see that my own plans fall apart (again), I start having thoughts that look like this: 

I already asked for forgiveness and now I have to do it AGAIN?

I don’t have a problem, I already surrendered my idols. (Although I am fully aware of their undeniable presence) 

This makes me look pathetic... maybe I am? 

Somehow in my life, I developed this opinion that I should have one “big moment” of surrender and forgiveness and that’s all I need. In my pride, I want it to be a big deal and then I NEVER have problems again. I am redeemed once and that is my glorious moment and God and I will live happily ever after in this life. 

The unfortunate truth is that’s just not going to happen. Not until this life is over, anyway. I’m still human. I’m still going to drift away or even run away. The important thing is that He never will. 

The thing about surrender and forgiveness is that it’s a repetitive, daily experience. 

It’s not a one time thing. Thankfully, Jesus understands that much better than I do. 

This glorious relationship has nothing to do with me or how good I am at praying, following His will, resisting temptation, reading scripture, singing worship perfectly... the list goes on. This relationship has everything to do with God’s grace and glory radiant in my heart and life.

The incredible truth is this: I don’t have to work so hard. He’s already given what I can’t afford. 

My inspiration for this blog post today comes from a song I found on my “Discover Weekly” Spotify playlist. 

I don’t think you’ll fully understand my heart on this subject until you listen to this song, so if you made it this far in reading my post please listen and read the lyrics. 

I literally relate to every single part of this song. Maybe you will, too. 

“Effort” by James Spaite

I made an agreement with a demon that I couldn't write 

And for the past six years I've cursed my life 

He said I couldn't sing and I told him he was right 

I gave him ears and listened to his lies 

There's time things can be restored 

This is wisdom: you will serve what you adore 

I'm freely given what I can't afford 

"Slow down child, you don't have to work for love 

Anymore" 

Blood as sweet as honey in exchange for bitter wine 

From three nails it flows and gives me life 

A little bag of money and I couldn't decline 

I traded in love for a worthless lie 

There's time things can be restored 

This is wisdom: you will serve what you adore 

I'm freely given what I can't afford 

"Slow down child, you don't have to work for love 

Anymore"