Blank Pages

It's happening again. The blank page. Just unashamedly sitting there. Staring at me.
This is why I stopped writing. The empty page was too much for me to handle.

But no more.

If I have to write nonsense just to get past my own fears, doubts, and insecurities... then I am going to do it because I want to write. I can't let this get in the way anymore.

I think writing for me has become symbolic of the season in my life right now. It's as if my future is a blank page... or my relationships are a blank page. If I am being honest, it's a really scary thought sometimes.

I have a choice with the blank pages in my life... I can either run from them or choose the unthinkable, the vulnerable and the bold decision to write. It's not always easy. Sometimes the battle is only with myself and other times those bruised tomatoes are thrown at me again. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read my first post).

This time I'm referring to the battle with myself.
The battle in my own mind.
The times when my mind tells me I am ugly, boring, dirty, used, worthless and have nothing left to give.
The times when it feels like the blank page would only be ruined by my words.

Praise God, I see now that those are all lies.
He calls me beautiful, interesting, washed clean, new, worthy, and greatly treasured. Despite what I tell myself... He has already called me His daughter.

My blank pages are already covered with the precious blood of the Lamb.

"Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony..." Revelation 12:10-11



And so are yours.